Call of the Wild
by enemytosleep
Summary: After returning to the Feudal Era for the last time, Kagome struggles with her new life when her past comes back to taunt her. Written for the Livejournal group iyhedonism's week 58 Quotation Prompt.


_"Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her." - The Marquis deSade_

The afternoon sun was more bright than warm, which wasn't saying much as the road ahead was cast in shadow. Small splotches of light dappled the well-trodden dirt where the sun had found its way through the many crisp leaves of red and gold that glittered overhead.

The young priestess adjusted her collar once more, hoping to bar out the Autumn chill. The thick cloth of her haori was stiff, and refused to stay where she wanted it to. She would have given almost anything for a nice fuzzy scarf. It was times like this that Kagome wished the well were still open.

The old mare slowed to a near stop, dropping her head to sniff the ground. Kagome gently tugged the reins in her hand, coaxing the graying horse back into motion. They would be at the next village soon enough, and there would be plenty of time for resting and eating there. For now, they needed to keep moving forward, else they get caught in the dark cold of night.

They were traveling south to a small fishing village that was plagued with illness. Now that Kagome had been fully trained in the arts of healing and purification, it was her duty to give aid to those who needed it. When the messenger from Yokohama had arrived in Edo, Kagome had immediately packed all of the remedies she could and set off.

She didn't normally travel alone, but there had been reports of attacking demons from the North and her husband and the monk had gone to take care of things two days before. It was still sort of awkward thinking of Inuyasha like that: her husband. While it wasn't at all unusual for a girl her age to be married in this time, it was still a strange idea for Kagome to wrap her head around. She had just graduated high school after all. Most of her friends were in university, partying at night and attending class by day.

She wondered how everyone was doing back in modern Tokyo. Her brother must be getting so tall now, and her mother was surely working hard to keep the shrine running. Grandpa was likely sweeping the courtyard like he always had, yelling at the trees to stop their littering. A small part of her wished she could be there with them, but that was her old life. She had come back in time to be with him, with Inuyasha, and outside of moments like this she had no regrets in coming.

Her mount plodded on, oblivious to her rider's melancholy. Kagome let her mind wander, sifting through old memories and conjuring images of things she might have seen if she had stayed. She certainly wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, which the small voice in her head reasoned wasn't the best decision she had ever made.

Before she could register what she had just told herself, she felt a demon presence rushing toward her. This was no low-level demon either. Shit. Quickly she drew her bow from her shoulder and fitted it with an arrow, taking aim exactly as the demon crashed through the brush and onto the road. Her veteran horse merely came to a stop, having grown far too used to this sort of thing to spook. Kagome nearly dropped her weapon at the sight of the demon before her.

"Kouga-kun?"

"Hey, Kagome, how've you been?"

How had she been? It was a simple question and was simply asked, but its answer was anything but. How could she even begin to answer that succinctly? It had been over four years since she had seen him last, when he had hugged her and walked out of her life. She had thought about that moment often when she had been stuck in a future time, analyzing each tiny detail of their last night together, wondering what might have been if he had stayed. Her eyes began to burn with the threat of tears. She should say something to him.

"I've been well. And you?"

"Pretty good. It's so good to see you again, Kagome."

It was good to see him, too. She had wondered how he would fare without his Shikon Jewel shards. Would he and his pack remain strong? Would he retain his rank as pack leader? Would he blame her if he hadn't? When had she dismounted? Absently, she hung her bow from her mare's saddle, sliding the arrow she held back into her quiver.

He was smiling at her, those cerulean eyes of his reaching into her, as if he could see inside her head and read her thoughts. His tail swished happily, and she couldn't stifle the giggle that erupted from deep within her.

Kouga snorted in reply, flashing a fang with that wicked smirk of his. "I know, I can hardly believe my luck in running into you like this." He started walking toward her, brushing the forest debris from his armor as he approached. "But what are you doing out here on your own? Finally get tired of Mutt-Face?" He stopped right in front of her, grasping her hands in his like he always had. "I've missed you. "

She was still getting over her shock in seeing him, and found it hard to digest everything he had just said. She tried to mentally rewind and replay the past few minutes in her head. There were a thousand thoughts streaming through her brain, and judging by the way he jumped topics, so did Kouga. She tried to register what was happening, what had just happened, but all she seemed able to latch onto was his last statement: he had missed her.

She realized that she still hadn't responded to him, but rather was just standing there staring dazedly. She berated herself mentally. There was no need for her to act so stupidly around him. He had been an ally, a good friend even. He and his pack had welcomed her like she was one of their own, so why was his appearance now so awkward? She hated thinking about these kinds of things.

"I've missed you, too, Kouga-kun."

She did miss him, and she felt guilty for it. Why she did, she wasn't entirely sure, but this guilt was definitely what was making things awkward. It was only natural to miss someone you were close to when you hadn't seen them in so long. She was happy to see him again, alive and well. There was no reason to feel guilty. Yes, she was sure of this.

"But why are you so far South, Kagome? Did you come to see me?"

He was so hopeful, always looking for the best in each situation. As annoying at it could be at times, she had always liked that about him.

"Well actually, I was bringing some medicine to another village down this way."

She only saw his disappointment because her focus was so trained on his face. He had only let it show for the briefest of moments, but it had crushed her nonetheless. She shouldn't feel guilty for this either. He was the one who had walked away. He had no right to expect her to seek him out afterwards, especially after all this time. Yes, she told herself, there's no reason to feel guilty here.

She didn't believe a word of it though.

"Oh, well in that case where's Dog-Breath? Normally he'd have crashed in here by now."

"What? I mean, Inuyasha is off taking care of some demons that are attacking some villages to the North."

Inuyasha certainly would have interrupted by now had he been here. She smiled at the thought of her over-protective, but well-meaning husband - she still wasn't used to calling him that - and the many times he had interposed himself between Kagome and any other male. It was sort of nice to be able to have a full conversation with Kouga without the added drama. There was that guilt again. Damn.

"Well I'm glad I could run into you like this, Kagome. I've wondered how you've been doing. Looks like he's taking care of you all right for once."

Inuyasha had been taking good care of her, his wife, her, Kagome - when would she get used to being called that? - and he had opened up to her like he had never been able to before. It was a good life she was leading, both felicitous and exciting. There was never a dull moment when he was around. So why now did she feel so empty, as though some intrinsic piece was missing?

This was too much. This line of thinking was not making what should be a happy reunion enjoyable. How could Kouga just come crashing through the brush like a whirlwind and turn her world upside down...for a second time? The stinging in her eyes intensified, and she couldn't stop the tears this time.

She lost control. Tears poured freely down her cheeks, and she pulled her hands free to hide her face from him. Immediately he pulled her close, wrapping his strong arms around her shoulders, one hand coming to rest on the back of her head. She let him embrace her as she sobbed. She wailed between spasmodic breaths, letting herself drown in her misery. When had her chest become so heavy?

They stood in the middle of the empty road, the cold breeze washing over them as it rustled the Autumn leaves. The chill bit at her wet face, and she automatically turned from it, burying her face in his collarbone. He smelled like summer rain, organic, crisp and green. His tanned skin was rough, but it felt good against her tear-soaked cheeks.

She had stopped crying, but she remained in Kouga's arms. He nuzzled the crown of her head, squeezing her gently. She loved how tender he was, knowing how fierce he could be when he wanted. It was sort of thrilling, being so close to something so powerful, something so dangerous. Inuyasha had been dangerous too, she reminded herself, though he had always been human, at least in part. Kouga was a wolf, untamed and full of fire. He reminded her of all those wild things that she had been taught to fear. She squeezed him tightly. She should let go of him soon.

"I should really going. Those villagers really need this medicine."

"Let me come with you for a ways. It's been too long since I've seen you last. I haven't had enough of you yet."

She should say no. These thoughts were becoming treacherous...she was a married woman now.

"I'd love that, Kouga-kun."

What was she doing? What if Inuyasha showed up? So what if he did? Kouga was just a friend, right? There was nothing going on here. She shouldn't feel so guilty.

As she gathered the old mare's reins, he wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled. She looped the lead around one hand, and wrapped her arm around his waist in turn, leaning her head against his shoulder as they started off down the road.

Maybe she should feel guilty.


End file.
